Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
