she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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