whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I want to make a zoo with you.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
