when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
