so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
