Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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