I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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