i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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