Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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