He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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