another moral hangover. fuck.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
