why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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