Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
