yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
