The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
