Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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