Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
nutella sex= disaster
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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