There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
