remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I am naked and annoyed.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
