dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
