you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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