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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
