I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
