I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
