Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
