Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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