She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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