do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
