if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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