I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
