Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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