No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
