I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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