Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
