he puts the penis in happiness.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I checked into jail on foursquare
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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