last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
