How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
