we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
