operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
