Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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