So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
