I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
