I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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