She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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