I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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