Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
