Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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