I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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