I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Randomize
