After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
