I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
